Friday, April 10, 2009

A Story About The Frugal Maven

Once, several years ago, I fell in a manhole. I am not known for my ability to walk and often congratulate myself when I realize that it may have been at least two weeks since I have fallen publicly and injured something that I will have to have replaced in about 10 more years. Like a knee. Anyway, several years ago I worked for a hospital that shall remain nameless except don't take anyone you love there and it's in downtown Louisville. I had to report to work at 6 a.m. for my crappy paying job where I worked in the lab across from a person named Karen. I could watch her beard grow and by the time I left in the afternoons she needed a shave. Every day. It was the most interesting thing about working there.

One morning I was meandering across the parking lot and onto the grassy divide when all of a sudden whoosh! Down I went, straight into a manhole whose cover was not where the cover is supposed to be, like on the manhole. My manhole was not fabulous and did not say "Ville de Paris" like the one pictured above. My manhole cover, if I could have found it, probably said,"I have been moved from my rightful spot so watch out when you walk across the grassy divide or you will find yourself assdeep in sewage and lose one of your good flats and have to be trundled into the hospital in a wheelchair".

I was not the only one to suffer, though. An elderly gentleman was idling in his gigantic yellow Cadillac with his lights on directly in front of me waiting to pick someone up from the night shift. When I went whoosh I apparently disappeared before his very eyes. He thought I had vanished and came flying out of the car screaming, "Oh sweet Jesus! Oh, she's gone! She was right there and she's gone!" He actually attracted more attention than I did and took longer to calm down.

Here's two of the reasons among many why I quit that job soon thereafter. One, my supervisor came to the E.R. where I was ensconced, sans one flat, with a sprained ankle and a very bruised hip and in a wheelchair and informed me that she would have to mark me late if I didn't report for work soon. And two months later I got a bill for $16 for the single footie they gave me to wear in lieu of my shoe that was floating out to the Ohio River.


Treehouse Chef said...

You haven't left for Florida yet have you? We have been friends for 22 years and I did not know this about you. I do remember your car falling into a manhole (pothole) while you were in it. There are so many things I don't know about you which is another reason I love to read your blog. I think readers should know that you are a shoe queen and the fact that you lost one was very costly and upsetting because you are all about sy

Treehouse Chef said...

I have no idea what happened to the last comment. What I was going to say is that you are all about style and that footie thing was a horrible trade for your designer shoe and to think they charged your 16 dollars. That is a crime!

Kim said...

OMG! That is hilarious and sad! I hope you're mishap free in Florida! I'm jealous!

Tatersmama said...

And you didn't threaten to sue? You could have gotten that lousy footsie paid for, at the very least!!!

Now I'm left wondering about Karen. Did she ever have electrolysis ? Did everyone in the lab chip in and buy her a razor?
Did she ever marry and find happiness with a bald man?

Frugal Maven said...

Tater--I often wonder about Karen, too. She was lovely but oh so hirsute. I hope she is well and found a bald man. One of the sad things about me is that as many times as I've fallen over and into things, I can never seem to get a good lawsuit together. Ah well, onward and upward. Thanks for the comment!

Chef and Kim - Thanks girls. I am now in Florida. Whooohooooo!

Robynn's Ravings said...

What a horrible, hysterical story! Complete with the bearded woman! The milk of human kindness obviously curdled in your boss. Glad you're rid of her and sorry you didn't sue. You might be writing a different blog. "Lifestyles of the Rich and Shoeless." I'd read that, too.

Hope you're on vacation now!

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