Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Loss Of Epic Proportions

So I was wrong about at least one thing on our going on vacation list. Travis McGee has been fixing toilets. Apparently it is impossible for someone renting a place, be it for vacation or for regular living, to let the owner know that the toilet runs 24/7 without pondering the situation for a month or so. Or, in the case of our last visitors, their entire three month stay! Still, that is minor compared to the renter whose daughter used the dial-up through Orlando, thereby racking up a $500 long-distance bill that took me 2 years to recoup. But I digress.
This is a story about chicken wings and a trip to Wal-Mart. Other than the fabulously cheap Oak Leaf Wine, for which I make an exception, you all know pretty much how I feel about the Wal-Mart. Since the hard times have come, though, I seem to be making all sorts of concessions. The truth is, Wal-Mart has some pretty decent wings on their hot bar. I try not to think of the sad, cramped lives of the Perdue chickens that were used to make hot wings that are $5.84/pound. I'm fairly sure that they did not peck about on their own plot of land and eat leisurely and chase each other around the barnyard. The point is, I wanted cheap and easy and that's the place you go to get it.
I stood in line patiently and then the nice gentleman in front of me insisted that I go ahead of him. I was happy to comply and proceeded to order two pounds of hot wings and six wedges. This cleaned out the whole hot wing stash and left none for the altruistic fellow behind me. Very sad for him but he should have taken one look at me and known directing his chivalry at me would come to no good. I proceeded to then purchase a frozen Edwards Key Lime Pie (a chemical concoction that on any other day I would turn up my nose at, no matter how good they taste) for Travis McGee's birthday as I am not cooking this week. And 5 Easter buckets for eggs, one day short but they were ten cents each and will come in handy next year.
I then proceeded to the Redbox and you all know how I love my Redbox. My cart was right next to me as I rented Quantam of Solace (love that pretty Daniel Craig) and Twilight (should have known better). After my movies were vended, I started to take off only to look down and realize my wings were gone! Someone had nicked my wings right under my nose. I looked around for a perpetrator but found nothing but innocent eyes looking back at me. Mad as hell, I returned to the hot bar and was informed that they had shut down for the evening and weren't cooking anymore and all the hot wings were gone. Really, I wonder what piglet took them all. Hmmmm. Defeated, I returned home to a frozen pizza and a really, really good chemical pie. The end.

2 comments:

Kim said...

that is freak!!!!!

Robynn's Ravings said...

I am HORRIFIED! This brings out the beast in me! You handled it the best way and didn't let in ruin your chemical pie. What else can a girl do? I once had my wallet pilfered in a Costco while I wasn't attending my cart. They took the money but left it messy and left everything else. I had three dollars. Guess they figured I couldn't afford for them to take my credit cards. Go back and tell them what happened on a fresh day and maybe they will reimburse! I would do it in a heartbeat. Good luck!

Post a Comment

Tell me something--anything! Let's have a conversation.