How I Got Over My Shoe Fetish

Back in the day, which really wasn't so long ago but feels like it when I get out bed in the morning, the Frugal Maven was a runner. This is something you probably wouldn't believe if you met me today. Not only do I no longer look like I could run to the corner, I have a general malaise that has developed over the years. Basically my aura says, "If I could run to the corner I wouldn't but thanks for asking. I'll be on the couch if you need me." I used to jump hurdles, an enterprise that seems downright stupid when I look back on it. Anyway, after my glory days as a mediocre athlete, I became a server and bartender in a very busy restaurant where we had to wear dress shoes and walk about 645 miles every night. Then I went to work in the car industry where I stood on concrete for 15 hours per day without a stool. I was obviously an idiot. Who didn't know a good labor lawsuit when she had one. During these stellar moments you are reliving with me, this is what my shoe collection would have looked like at any given time:

Because I could tart up my feet. No matter how long the shift, no matter what time of night or day, I could be counted on to be wearing some shoes that took effort. And looked pretty and cost a fortune. Then one day my bank account starting hurting. Then my feet started hurting. My heels hurt. The balls of my feet hurt. My toes hurt. I was going on a trip to Europe and didn't want to be limping everywhere so I visited the comfort shoe store. You know the one. The one you take comfort in that you'll never have to darken the doorway. Well, all I can say is if you haven't been there yet, tick-tock.

My request to the lovely fellow that waited on me was please sell me something that I can walk all over Europe pain-free in that's not too ugly. He sold me these:

And they were $215. Which about gave me a heart attack. I have owned $200 shoes before but only because I got a 75% off deal somewhere. I love a luxury item but I want it to look luxurious. But I trusted the nice man and he did not steer me wrong. I wore these to Europe and they saw the markets and cathedrals of Oxford, the rainy streets of Paris and the dusty villages of Provence. They were the only shoe I wore for the entire trip. That was in June 2006. I'm still wearing them. So I figure that over time they are more than worth the money I paid for them. When I put them on my feet want to cry because they are so happy. And that brings me to the true bottom of vanity. Sometimes it's winter and I can't wear my happy sandals and then my feet hurt. I finally returned to the comfort shoe store begging for a work/casual shoe that my heels would feel ok in. And he sold me these:

Yes, dear readers, this is the end of vanity. I knew the day would come. I've been wearing these Danskos for over a year now. At first I wore them to work and made jokes about them. Then I started wearing them out in real public places. Now I really have no urge to ever wear another pair of shoes again, except for these and my beloved sandals. These were $120 and worth every penny. If they ever fall apart I will happily go right back and get another pair just like them. My back doesn't hurt, my feet don't hurt, nothing hurts when I wear these. And that is worth a fortune. In the land of frugality, these expensive ugly shoes were a pittance. They've changed my life. And now you know how I got over my shoe fetish.